So now I have to wait until Monday to call and see if there was anything out of place on the last CT scan and the breath tests I took.

Waiting… It is the devils playground for the mind.

Even though we are told not to expect the worst when waiting for medical [...]]]>

No word from Doctor as yet.

So now I have to wait until Monday to call and see if there was anything out of place on the last CT scan and the breath tests I took.

Waiting… It is the devils playground for the mind.

Even though we are told not to expect the worst when waiting for medical information. We as a whole can not get away from those easy to set up thoughts.  You always want to and hope for the best. But damn it. Why does it seem easier to imagine the worst? It is not fair. It is how we are programed from childhood. Why do they do that to us? And who are “they” any way? Our parents? The media programmers from TV and Radio?  Yeah I said Radio. I am old enough to have received some of my earlier form of entertainment on the radio. We were not all rich enough to afford a TV back in the day, Yo.

And to those of you that have called me and tried to contact me on the social sites. I apologize. I have been in a funk for a while now. I am not trying to ignore you. Honestly. I Love you all so much. You know who you are.

If I name any at all then those I do not mention would more than likely get offended because I did not mention them. So lets just say those of you that are closest to me and know where I live and my phone number. That should cover it. Friends, Family and especially my PHAMILY !!!!!!

Now as my last post from the parking lot seems to have worried some of you. Don””t let it. I am NOT giving up by any stretch of the imagination. I was just trying to get some of this crap ( pardon the pun) my chest. Yes, I am so fucking tired of all the “lets test this med because the other one did not do squat”  method of doctoring. It is not only defeating to ones well being but it is expensive as well.  Yeah I have Insurance at the moment. But does not it figure that most of the meds I have to take are not classified under the good old insurance $5 per prescription plan. They range from $45 all the way to a few hundred a prescription. I had to refuse the last prescription because it was $200.00 for a weeks supply and the insurance will not cover one cent of it. So yeah. This is why I bitch and moan…

Anyway I just wanted everyone to know I am ok. I am doing the best I can from day to day.  Just got done with a breathing treatment and the shakes are back bad. But we will persevere. I do not see me going out of the house much over the next week or so. The weather is not good for me to be out. With all this rain you would think it would be ok. But along with the heat during the day it just seems to create more humidity than there was before it rained. I mean right now if I walk out of the front door and into the heat of day. I feel like I just got hit in the chest with a ten ton truck. Within a few steps I am almost completely exhausted. So I will be here at home in my electronic world for the next several days.

I Love you all,

Peace Out,

Dragon

I have [...]]]>

So we are now 45 minutes into the day after my birthday. It was a good day. I enjoyed the company of my wife Red. We did nothing of any interest. Just spent down time with each other. Then I sent her off to bed because she has to work tonight.

I have never given much thought to birthdays. They haven”t really meant anything since I was a kid. Just another day in the life so to speak.

But for some reason this one was just a little extra special. Perhaps it was me having that whole looking at my own mortality thing a while back. Or perhaps it was that it also marks 10 years with the love of my life.

If you want to know more about her just ask her or refer to the many posts I have made about her and I over the years.

Then again just click this link and read her blog yourself, A Red Headed Stepchild . Red I Love you now and forever.

To the rest of my Phamily and Family, Thank you for the well wishes. For those of you who forgot. Shame on you. But hey I forget too so what the hell. No harm meant no harm done.

Live your life as you choose and dont let anyone else tell you your wrong. You only get 1 chance at this folks. One chance and then your ticket is punched and you move on to the next booth in the freakshow that is life, the universe and everything.

“42 “  Remember people, that is the answer after all.

Dragon

As of this minute (12:01 PM Central Standard Time) the Dragon turns another year older.

It has not been an easy year for me this year. I have had a butt load of medical problems. Money has been so bloody tight.

The economy sucks and what you do make does not [...]]]>

And so it goes.

As of this minute (12:01 PM Central Standard Time) the Dragon turns another year older.

It has not been an easy year for me this year. I have had a butt load of medical problems. Money has been so bloody tight.

The economy sucks and what you do make does not even begin to cover your day to day needs. In order to do that you either have to go deep into debt or live so minimalist that you never get to enjoy the basic things in life that make it all worth living.

Is it any wonder why I just don””””t feel like celebrating?

I know that is not fair to Red. She has bent over backwards to make sure I am OK. But she has also carried a full load at school and a part time job as well as another part time job as a Tutor at the school writing center.

She in all her love just wants me to have a nice day for my birthday.  That is all well and good.

But it is so hard to tell her that it is all the things that she says and does on a daily basis.

Those are the things that I celebrate.

Those are the things that I live for and crave on a daily basis.

Those are the things that drive me to live each day more or less in the moment.

“The Past are my memories, The Present is my Life, The Future is for Dreams“.

Red is the other part of me that I have always lacked and never knew how to fill, or even that I was missing part of me, until I met her. From that moment on I just knew. She is like the perfect mortar to my wall. It can be as weak or as strong as I want it to be.

But she is the binding agent that flows among every particle of my being, Rigid, Fluid or Flexible keeping the whole being that is Dragon together and able to weather any storm.

So you see my love. The celibration of the day of my birth is so trivial against the Celibration that is my Life with You!.

Thank you for every second of every day of every week of every month of every year that is the rest of my Life.

I look forward to so many more. All to be with you…

Peace Out,

Dragon